Daddy's Guest Post: Shopping for Jebus' birth day.

I am high jacking the usual Cavinder Blog to post about a little shopping trip with our daughter Audrey.

I picked up Audrey just a little earlier then usual for our impromptu trip to the mecca of merchandise, the den of debt, the metropolis of er... OK the mall. I always wondered what attracted old people to  come to malls in track gear and spend hours walking in circles. 

So Wilber, now that you're retired what are you gonna do?
Wilber, "Eh, think I'll spend my twilight hours walking aimlessly
in a shopping mall buying nothing."

Bright and early at two p.m. about a half hour sooner than normal, and just enough that she didn't really wake up for a few minutes.

Sleepyhead just woke up. 

Is this real life? What do you mean bed head?

Her hair is normally a mess from her wild sleeping habits. I've watched her sleep. Seriously, if I moved half as much as her when I slept I'd have no need for a gym.  What is she dreaming about I wonder? 

 Anyway, her mom would kill me if I let her get out in public with a mop like that on her dome. So it's a good thing her daddy is a sexy genius certified amateur traveling hair stylist.

Daddy's mobile hair salon. By appointment only! 

 And through the magic of TV the internet, her hair is once again perfect!

Voila! No more baby bed head. 

 Just a short drive later we are at the destination. Plenty of snacks, milk, water, and a fresh diaper.  On Audrey of course.

We got snacks and supplies time to shop!

 Of course what's a trip to the mall without small detours? I blame my short attention span the baby 100%.

Star what? This guy sounds like he has asthma. 

 Of course letting Audrey pick her mommy's presents can get you in trouble.

Ooh! Get this one for mommy! Meow.

 Now what kind of a dad would I be if I didn't spoil think of our only child? Plus, it was on sale and it's hard to find cool stuff like this, and, well, can you say no to that face?

Two things she loves, milk and sales. 

Yeah I'm stinking cute. What of it? 

 I decided Audrey needed to stretch her legs a little so we went to the kiddie play area, but not with out showing her the Rocky Mountain Chocolate bear first. She thought it was a cat.

Audrey: "Kitty!" Daddy: "No. Bear. Roar, roar." Audrey: "Meow, meow" 

 Once into the padded kid safe play room, Audrey made a b-line for the slide which she used about ten times, before deciding it would be fun to try it backwards.  She bonked her head and cried for a minute.  As much as my paparazzi instincts told me to keep shooting I decided it would be wise to pick her up instead.

Head first down the slide? Safety third! 

Heeeerrrrrreeeeees, AUDREY!

Do you smell something? 

 I was thinking to myself, "what would a little girl like to do? I know, make over!"

Wait, wait, that's not my color!

I wanna talk to your manager! 

Oh, pink sparkles you say? We're cool now. 

Oh yeah, glam it up!

 After her glamorous make over, we decided to get a snack before vacating this emo paradise.  So a visit to ye old food court was in order.

Nothing beats sweet potato fries in ketchup
after a long day of shopping. 

Loves to dip, dip, dip, dip. 

Oh too much ketchup, here daddy eat this. 

 One minor incident did happen while shopping today.  I had the bags hanging on the back side of the stroller and Audrey wanted to be carried.  So I was carrying her and letting her grab the handle to kinda steer.  She thought it would be good fun to press down on the already off balance stroller and tip it backwards, flinging the bags, her water, milk, snacks, all over the floor.  Luckily for me a man took pity on my stupidity accident and helped me to re-attach the items.

That's all for now.  I now return you to your regularly scheduled program.

Next time lets take the vroom, vroom, daddy.